Monday, May 12, 2008
Mother's Day Missing You
On your first mother's day you were 6 weeks old. You had no idea what day it was, but that was fine. I knew what day it was. My first mother's day with three children. I had you, my sweet little baby, Riley who was a 5yo boy full of energy, and Keenan who was 7 and half and thought you were one cool baby.
It was also your last mother's day. I was blissfully unaware of that information.
Yesterday your father told me I wasn't his mother. He did not buy me a card or do anything except say Happy Mother's Day. Your 17 year brother Riley did not even bother to do that.
I still feel your dad deserves props for being a dad, even thought he isn't my dad. He is half the dna in all three of you. He was present whe you, your brothers and the the babies we lost to miscarriages were conceived.
He's been through the toddler years, the soccer years, the baseball years, the junior high years and the high school years. I respect him as your father.
I feel like your father diminished my role as a mother. Like now I'm irrelevent since Keenan and Riley are in their late teens. Maybe he doesn't feel I do any mothering any longer.
I miss you Brennan and wish you could have been with me yesterday.