Monday, May 12, 2008

Mother's Day Missing You

On your first mother's day you were 6 weeks old. You had no idea what day it was, but that was fine. I knew what day it was. My first mother's day with three children. I had you, my sweet little baby, Riley who was a 5yo boy full of energy, and Keenan who was 7 and half and thought you were one cool baby.

It was also your last mother's day. I was blissfully unaware of that information.

Yesterday your father told me I wasn't his mother. He did not buy me a card or do anything except say Happy Mother's Day. Your 17 year brother Riley did not even bother to do that.

I still feel your dad deserves props for being a dad, even thought he isn't my dad. He is half the dna in all three of you. He was present whe you, your brothers and the the babies we lost to miscarriages were conceived.

He's been through the toddler years, the soccer years, the baseball years, the junior high years and the high school years. I respect him as your father.

I feel like your father diminished my role as a mother. Like now I'm irrelevent since Keenan and Riley are in their late teens. Maybe he doesn't feel I do any mothering any longer.

I miss you Brennan and wish you could have been with me yesterday.


La La said...

This broke my heart. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry that your husband and teenage son were insensitive on Mother's Day. You are to be honored all year long every day! Happy Mother's Day. What you do is so important, and it's a job that never ends no matter how old they get.

Found you at Eileen's blog. Hope it's okay I stopped by.

andria said...

Happy Mother's Day!

Late, sorry about that.

My husband thinks he doesn't have to do anything for me on Mothers day because I am not his mother too. My dad has always thought the same thing. It's a stupid man way out of a holiday.

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

I wish you had a daughter. Daughters know what to do on Mother's Day :)

He's beautiful. So precious. I guess that sounds funny, speaking of Brennan (sorry if I didn't spell his name right) in present-tense, but it feels like he is still here with you, so I'm sticking with it.