Monday, May 5, 2008

Feeling A Little Down

I have been pretty well acceptance and depression wise. In fact, I've been mostly even keeled which has been nice. When one has two teens and a husband secreting testosterone, it helps to be even keeled.

The Fantasy post has another side/The nightmare

If our first child had been born afflicted and began seizures at 5 months, his brain shrinking 25% on 3 weeks, losing his voluntary movement, etc we would have never had any biological children. A 1 in 4 risk is just too high for an always fatal disease. Because of the greater plan made by a greater power, I did get to feel the joy of creating children, carrying children, giving birth, nursing them, being head over heels on love with each of my sons.

We were blessed to have had that. I am grateful for that.

I always wanted children and don't know how I would have reacted if the oldest had been the one with disease. I'm glad I did not have to find out.

God is good. Sometimes my vision is cloudy.

2 comments:

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

I'm glad, too, that you were blessed with two healthy children.

I wonder...how have your boys dealth with the loss of their baby brother?

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Oh, I'm so very, very sorry...I have been reading through your posts here...one never gets over missing them...Even though it has been 13 years, I'm sure it feels like yesterday! You will be in my thoughts and prayers especially tonight...Love, Janine XO