Sunday, August 11, 2013


Post traumatic stress disorder is something one associates with soldiers who have been to war and victims of violent crimes.

It happens to mothers who've endured the death of their child without time to process the experience.

I had nightmares for many years.

Nightmares where I dropped my son Brennan onto to the floor where his head shattered into a thousand pieces.

Nightmares where I woke up sobbing and gasping for breath.

Now these are quite rare.

Today I saw an ambulance and suddenly the picture of Brennan's second bout of seizures came clearly into my mind.

Medic one inserted an IJ(internal jugular) line into his sweet little neck.

Brennan was sent by helicopter to Children's Medical Center.

I think I have dealt with all the emotions and grief when out of the blue I'll have a flashback.  After almost eighteen years.

The mind is a strange and twisty organ.