Woulda, coulda, shoulda

My son you'd be 14 years old now. You'd be excited (and maybe a tiny bit scared) that middle school was almost over and that high school would begin for you in September.

If you took after your older brothers we'd be getting ready for All-Stars in Little League or perhaps you would have moved up to select baseball.

I cannot imagine you not being athletic like your mother. I loved swimming but competing in sports was not my way. I read all the books in the Children's part of the library by the time I was 11.

I began reading adult books. My mother did not censor me but I think she should have. Some of the books I read were complete trash. My mother read them first. That is the only reason I read them because they were easily available.

I remember discovering Steven King books with Salem's Lot. I was reading it at 3a.m. because it was summer in MI and too hot to sleep. It was a scary book about vampires and when a moth hit my window, I barely stifled the scream that was hidden in me. Then I laughed. How silly. It was fiction.

Maybe you would have liked tennis. Your dad was good enough to play the pro circuit, he just did not how to get sponsorship. He was not strong willed enough to defy his father at that point in his life. He was an incredible player.

You would have very limited use of a cell phone(no texting) and a computer. Sorry Bren but your brothers taught me the hard way. You'd whine but they get more time...........blah, blah, blah and I'd say sorry Charlie no go.

I can't imagine you being a shy child as shy doesn't exist in my family history. My mother told me she was a shy child but my brothers weren't shy and I am not shy and your brothers are anything but shy.

I still think of you and miss you just not 24/7 so much. Nursing school takes tons of time and helping people helps me to feel useful.