Sad

I am sad in a way most people could not understand. I wanted four kids. I loved being pregnant and having babies. With us carrying a genetic disease my hopes for another baby nearly dissipated. There was always the possibility of artificial inseimination by donor or invitro with healthy embryos. These ways have been beyong us financially.

I sad to give up hope. I'm sad to be aging out of the getting pregnant age. I'm sad to see my options wither away.

I am having such a difficult time accepting I'll never have a newborn of my own again. Being a grandparent is so NOT the same.

I don't kow what to do but go one with my life pushing through each day and hoping this sadness slowly dwindles away.